The force of nature that was Christopher immediately enveloped Emily as soon as she opened the door. She didn't even get past the entry. All of a sudden, a 6'3" man, black as night with platinum, spiked hair, sculpted muscles under his tangerine orange cashmere sweater and dark, fitted jeans, was barreling toward her like the Basilisk in Harry Potter – a slithering freight train. The deep, yet feminine voice was disconcerting, to say the least.
“Oh! Look at you! You're like a little Kate. We can work with that. Though, Rob is so much more handsome than William, thankfully.”
He winked and stole a look at Rob that said he thought Rob was much, much more than handsome.
“Quick! Let's get that coat off you so I can see your curves.” He yanked off her wool trench. “Twirl for me. Slow. Good. Uh huh. Uh huh. Well, we'll have to make sure we put you in something that slims your hips a little and doesn't over emphasize your tush. Can you take off the pants so I can see your legs?”
Emily looked at Rob. He was stifling a laugh. He gestured, as though to say, Well, go on. You heard the man. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head at him and took off her shoes and pants.
“Okay, now put the shoes back on. Yes, honey, I'm serious.” Em hadn't said a thing, but apparently, Rob wasn't the only one who could read her expressions. She obliged, to Rob's amusement.
“Niiiice. Excellent. You've got fantastic gams. That means we can put you in anything without worrying about your legs. Looks like you'll need a wax, though. And now that I see your hips and tushy without those pants on, we might be a little better off there than I thought. Do you work out? Yoga? Pilates?”
“Yes. I haven't in a few days, but usually I do both a few times a week.”
“Well, it shows. I'm sure we can do some tailoring on those pants to help your figure. I'll send someone over to pick up everything and we'll have it back before you even realize they're gone. You've got it, girl, you might as well make the most of it while you're still young and it's all real. Now, let's see those boobies.”
“You're kidding.” Rob was having a hard time containing himself.
“No, honey, I'm not. It's strictly professional. I don't get any personal enjoyment out of it, if you know what I mean.”
Em sighed and took off her blouse and her camisole. She was standing there, in her stockings, bra and thong, wearing three-inch heels. She felt like a stripper. Rob's expression had turned from amused to aroused. She gave him a dirty look. Just you wait, mister.
“Oh, excellent! 34C?” Christopher asked as he felt her boobs. She didn't know what else to do, so she nodded. “And totally real. This we can work with. I think I've got the perfect dress, but I'll bring a few others, just in case. I'm never wrong, though.” Rob was shaking his head, mouthing, He's not.
Christopher was grabbing his coat and his handbag. Emily had to laugh to herself that the most shocking thing was that he had a handbag.
“Wait, don't you need to take measurements?”
“Oh, honey. No. If we were having a dress custom made for you, I would. Or if you were really fat, just to make sure I brought a big enough size. But you'll fit all the samples. We'll alter as needed. We'll have our first fitting on the 27th and then we'll do the final fitting on the 31st. Okay? Okay.” He kissed both her cheeks, waved a cute little wave to Rob, said “Tah!” and was gone.
Emily was standing there, in her underwear and shoes, baffled, mouth hanging open, when Rob's arms came around her.
He nuzzled her ear and said, “Sorry about that. I should have warned you, but there really is no way to explain him until you see it.”
She turned to look at him. “What the hell was that?”
“That was Christopher.